Maybe she’s born with it, maybe its ketamine.
I have begun going through my archive of work, sometimes as photographers you need to sit on your work, and only when the iron strikes, you share it. Its intuitive. I took this shot in my bothers basement in LA, a few years ago. My work is highly narrative and emotive. I tend to look at all my fine art work as portraits on the self. I am driven by personal experience and the human condition, the vast forms of expressing ones true self and spirit are endless. There is real beauty in the gift of the phoenix. Yes, she burns, but she also continues to rise, again and again.
We tend to have many lives, within this one lifetime. I like to think of it as the abrupt cuts that are so popular in Film Noir. The shifts our lives take, some shifts happen overnight, and we are left to move with the pace of life or get swallowed by it.
This is my film noir state of mind.
I am finally getting caught up, what a whirlwind of a year I’ve had. I have been slightly off my game, but I spent time traveling both domestically and internationally. I truly have had some life changing experiences that I can’t wait to share with you all. I have a new art project I can’t wait to get off the ground! I’ve been to New Zealand and spent time up in the mountains and now I’m finally home with a shifted perspective. This year taught me a lot and I am grateful.
Here is my latest boudoir session with Annie! I am now booking holiday gift sessions, both individual and couples sessions available.
Message me at firstname.lastname@example.org to discuss pricing options and ideas!
Windows have always been a recurring theme in my work. There is something about them that draws me in. I see them as tiny portraits with a soft anonymity. Outside the frame, I usually know nothing about the people who spend their time on the other side of the glass. The audience is left only to make their own judgements, form connections or experience nostalgia in whatever way behooves them.
The image below is of my own bathroom window, taken from inside the home looking out. This is a new perspective for me, most of the time I am on the outside looking in. The irony is, I equate my images of windows as anonymous portraits as I stated above. Here it becomes a self-portrait. I see myself as the vine, and this is what the movement of my life looks like.
I when choose to use myself as subject, I hope to convey a certain vulnerability that resides within the human condition. My self-portraits draw from my own personal experiences, and through an abstract approach I detach from my physical self while maintaining a tone that is emotional and narrative. I believe human emotion is the binding thread of our civilization. If you took everything else away, pain is still pain and love is still love. Someone once told me that, ‘You can’t measure pain. Its relative. We all experience it in our own way.’ Through using my physical self, I strive to use my form as a vessel to convey something beyond the physicality of the body itself.
This is struggle.
Getting back in the swing of things…
This self-portrait was taken in my bathroom. Backlit and intentionally blurred to capture a certain ambiguity on the human form. By removing facial recognition, I intend to create an anonymity with the subject and the viewer, hoping the work acts like a reflection of the person in front of it. The idea of one half of something, two parts that make one whole fascinates me. Duality exists in all facets of human experience. I pose as a metaphor for non-binary culture, the figure in the image could be my feminine side or it could be my masculine side. It is simply one half of the human form.
This is my first blog post since August, its rather incredible to acknowledge how disconnected I have become to my work. Its intimidating in the sense of not remembering how to begin again. But really, all you have to do is begin. Its a similar feeling when I complete a photo project, afterwards I feel this sense of loss, a void is present for some time. Then I remember to go out and photograph something, anything, it doesn’t matter what it is, and that reassurance is there and I am reminded of why I choose to use a camera as my artistic tool.
Needless to say, 2016 beat me up a bit. I have accomplished a lot of the goals I set for myself; I moved back to Chicago. I didn’t share the ride with anyone. I spent three days in my car alone with my radio, and crossed Illinois state lines on my birthday, which was pretty great. I reached a goal and upgraded my camera equipment. I also grieved with the rest of the world over Standing Rock, a Trump election, Aleppo, ISIS, the most farcical election season of my life, just to name a few, however, I am grateful for the growth and experience this year has offered me. I feel like a wilted plant sitting in a windowsill of sunshine. Beaten, bruised, aged, yet basking in the harsh light of the world.
What is this life we live? Consume, throw away, repeat. Stripes are in, spots are out. This lipstick, that haircut. Eyebrow trends are actually real. For what? What is the reward of being so vain and desperately needing to project our best selves into the world, cause god forbid we show our real selves… Then everyone would see the flaws we work so hard to cover up. So, we just try to fit in. Conform to the idea of who we are supposed to be, based on what someone or something else said. That same someone or something, has no reference to who we are personally. Something like a magazine, or the media. Someone like the person who writes for them. And we listen like lambs, being led to slaughter.
This is me trying to fit in.